One of the worst things that can happen to a woman who loves too much is to be dumped throught Google Talk after 5 years of relationship.
WTF! Don’t I deserve some R-E-S-P-E-C-T like Aretha Flanklin sang in 1990?
But not all is lost. Fate has wanted me to run into this book at the perfect timing:
“Women who Love too Much” by Robin Norwood.
It was magically wating for me on a library bookshelve on my 31st birthday.
I strongly recommend this book. It has opened my eyes, or my mind I should say, to a new way of seeing relationships and how we as women interact in them in the times we live.
Based on the fact that women are culturally and biologically “destined” or “expected to” care for others, we end up loving to much to others and not to ourselves.
Most of the songs, movies, plays, … sing about the drama, the passion of love and it seems that if we do not suffer, we do not love enough. But we have to change this belief as when we love too much:
- we leave our own hapiness in other’s hands
- we believe we could have done something to “rescue” our relationship. Or even worse, we think we have done something terribly wrong.
- we stop living our lives to be there when they need us. If they come, we feel gratefull, if they don’t we get angry
- we get used to the feel of being needed but we do not listen to our own needs.
And as a consequence to all of our “efforts”, we get the contrary: the more we try to help them, the farthest they go. And when they go, we find ourselves empty, we do not know how to love ourselves.
This book explains real cases of real women and how we can modify our behaviour towards ourselves.
It’s not an easy task, I tell you. But we have to stop placing our men on that pedestral.