Another fascinating point: when we express opinion, many times we do it in third person:
“We should seek to reform our education system”
“We can’t say that climate change is causing extreme weather”
These are phrases I have taken from some columnists from the New York Times.
According to Coaching, using the third person means “I’m not responsible for what I say” and besides, you are involving people who might not think the same way as you. In the first case, “We should seek to reform our education system”, maybe there are people who think the education system is fine and does not need to be changed. We can’t generalize, we can’t speak for others.
Another example, more daily:
A child, accidentally, drops a glass. S/he says: “it felt”. S/he wants to say it’s not her/his fault by blaming the glass.
All of this makes sense to me, but I have found a contradictory point of view. Recently I have seen a video where David Logan (co-founder and senior partner of CultureSync) talks about tribal leadership. He divides society in 5 different tribes-stages:
- Stage 1: Life sucks
- Stage 2: My life sucks
- Stage 3: I’m great
- Stage 4: We are great
- Stage 5: Life is great
As an example of Stage 3, he points out the famous sentence from M. L. King: “I have a dream” what places him in a narcisist tribe.
BUT, accordingly to Coaching, M. L. King is taking responsability. If he had said: “We have a dream” maybe he would have been including people who didn’t.
The line that separates narcissism from responsability in these cases is very thin.
What do you think?