I have started a Coacing Course this week. One thing that has surprised me is this:
One of our mistakes is to confuse TO BE with TO DO
For example, when we are introducing ourselves, we say “I’m a writer, doctor, etc.” instead of “I work as a writer, doctor, etc.” We are used to that expression, it is something natural: I’m.
BUT if we look deep into it, when we lose a job or we make a mistake while working, we do not stop being, we stop doing something. Or we are not wrong, we just have made a mistake. If we link the fact of making a mistake with our being, then we will end up blaming ourselves (I’m bad) instead of recognising we did something wrong (punctually) but next time will do it better.
TO BE is passive (I’m tall) meanwhile TO DO is active and can change.
I realised then, how unconsciously, because it’s how we learnt it, we mine our self-esteem.
I’ll try, from now on, to pay attention to the way I speak. It’s a hard exercise, let’s see how it goes 🙂